You are a parent the minute you discover you are pregnant or are part of a pregnant couple. Even if the pregnancy ends in miscarriage, abortion, or placing the child for adoption, the memory and impact of starting a new life will be with you for the rest of your life. When you give birth or adopt a kid to raise, your life is permanently altered. You now have a kid to nurture, care for, and be concerned about.
You are already ahead of the game if you are doubting your preparation for pregnancy and motherhood. Becoming a parent is a big undertaking. It is important to take it seriously. Here are some factors to examine carefully if you are thinking about becoming a parent. They are not included in any particular sequence. They are all significant.
Are you looking for a kid for the right reasons?
Children should never be born just because their parents need affection. A child’s love is not a replacement for the love of a parent, a spouse, or friends. Yes, loving our children brings us love, but it is a consequence, not the main reason we have them. It is our responsibility to fill them up emotionally, not the other way around.
Never bring children into the world to remedy a problem. They should not be born to appease family, to keep a partner, to assure an inheritance, or to bring a couple closer together. When a baby is born to address a problem, it nearly always fails. The condition remains, and there is a baby to care for.
Children should be born to individuals who want to share their love, who regard parenting as the next major adventure in their lives, and who believe that families are a vital and significant part of living completely.
Is your marriage stable?
Make an honest appraisal of your preparedness as a pair. During the first year of a child’s existence, every relationship suffers from neglect. Both parents are stressed out due to little sleep, increased financial pressures, and less time for each other. This is typical. If your relationship is strong, you will both accept it. However, if you and your spouse aren’t really devoted, can’t communicate, or don’t know how to operate as a team, the typical obligations of infant care may put a strain on your relationship. Do you have the dedication as well as the skills to make it work?
Do you have adequate support if you’re doing it alone?
Being a single parent is difficult. However, with 40 percent of children in the United States being born to single parents, it is becoming more typical. Do you have other willing supporters in your life if you don’t have a partner? It is critical for your and your child’s well-being to have someone who is a consistent source of love, attention, and assistance. That someone may be a grandmother, a close friend, or another single parent with whom you collaborate. What counts is that she or he is willing to be contacted at 3 a.m. if there is an emergency and is prepared to give you an hour or two off if you badly need a sleep or need to go to an appointment without bringing junior or juniorette with you.
Are you willing to prioritise the needs of others before your own?
Are you tired of partying and doing things on the spur of the moment? These things become more unusual whenever a baby is involved. Babies need a consistent schedule. They need your undivided attention. If you have to choose between staying at home with a teething infant and going to a party, your kid needs you to say no without hesitation. Your baby’s need for comfort and care should take precedence over your desire to leave the home.
Will you be resentful if you have to give up items you desire because the baby need them?
Unless you are really wealthy, chances are you will have to postpone purchasing a new pair of sneakers, a new technological gadget, or a better anything because your kid needs new shoes, better food, braces, or whatever. Being a good parent is feeling good about ourselves for being able to offer what a kid needs, even if it means deferring something we desire.
Can you really afford it?
Babies are expensive – very expensive. It’s remarkable how quickly an 8-pound baby consumes money. It only gets worse as children get older. In 2011, the USDA estimated the total cost of raising a kid from birth to the age of 18 to be $234,900! Federal and state support is sufficient to help a family get by, but only just. To provide a nice life for your kid and yourself, you must have a solid career, a working spouse, considerable money, or win the lottery. If you don’t have one or more of them, you should reconsider becoming pregnant.
Do you know how to raise a child?
You’ve undoubtedly heard that babies don’t arrive with an instruction manual. Every healthy kid routinely puts their parents and their limitations to the test. How will you learn to be the type of parent you want to be if you don’t believe you know how? Are there any elder parents in your life who might serve as mentors? Are there any parent education or support organisations in my area?
The choice to start a family via birth or adoption is a difficult one. None of these questions lend themselves to a simple yes or no response. However, by considering them and discussing them with a spouse or other key supporters, you may help yourself make an informed choice. In fact, if you do decide to have a kid, working through these difficulties will make you a better parent.